1am : I have made the tough decision. I know some people will say, if you want, just take it, if not, just leave it, why think so much. But me, I can't.
I finally found out the reason why am i so indecisive.Even when I have decided, and filling up the application package, I ask myself again. I have hard time going through all the questions and finishing the whole package. Every time I am stuck, I doubt should I move on. I know the answer, NO, but i just need externals to tell me I can do it, I must do it. I've also put a statement on my msn to keep reminding myself that I should move on.
Yes, there is no room to look back anymore. I have to move forward. Believe in my decision, believe in what I want, have faith to myself.
2.15am : I was browsing through one of my ex-colleague's wedding photos. They are so lovely. I really admire her. Finally she found her love one and she built up a family with him. Forever they go hands-in-hands till their last breath. How romantic. Wonder when my time will arrive....
2.35 am: Later, I started to receive a lot congratulations on my MC application. I also started to gain a lot of opinions on how to prepare myself for VOC. Chatting with my EBs, others VPs FA, and seniors helped me to gather lots of information and motivation. AIESECers are so friendly and helpful. Thanks a lot...I suddenly cried while chatting with Soon Kit and Kaiser. I don't know why, whether they make me too nervous, or I am touched by their helping hands...Anyway, no matter you guys were talking cork or not, I feel the sincerity and the sharing was great too.
4.05 am: It's time to stop thinking and get moving.....stay tune for next week....
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Out of topic...
I wanted to post the pictures I have taken during pre camp and MyLDS. But I thought I have post enough at facebook. So go visit my facebook.
I wanted to describe the trip I have been anticipated for long, and finally I got to go. But the mood just isn't right.
I am still thinking of the same issue....again and again...without conclusion. Even when times I am near to the conclusion, I pull out again. I know what I want. And at this moment of time, I don't think I am that kind of person who follow what my friend does. I know what is good for me. But I don't know what am I worrying off.
Thinking
Still thinking....
And thinking....
I wanted to describe the trip I have been anticipated for long, and finally I got to go. But the mood just isn't right.
I am still thinking of the same issue....again and again...without conclusion. Even when times I am near to the conclusion, I pull out again. I know what I want. And at this moment of time, I don't think I am that kind of person who follow what my friend does. I know what is good for me. But I don't know what am I worrying off.
Thinking
Still thinking....
And thinking....I shall make the decision after this post.....or else....
Sunday, December 14, 2008
The highlights of my holiday
In the middle of my holidays, I left home for 2 weeks. Not to go to a sunshine beach, nor a historical city but a beautiful journal of life in a place I am familiar, but a brand new experience.
Starting with Train the Trainer workshop till LC PM, I have lots of fun staying under one roof with these bunch of people, having different characteristic, different background, different dreams, different taste in choosing lover, but sharing the same vision-----254 254 254.....
TtT, I learnt more than I expected. Honest speaking, I was not so passionate to become a trainer because I do not have the confident and skills. However the workshop thought me that a trainer was not born, but is to trained. So basically everyone can be a trainer.
Pre camp, was the first time I was given a session to conduct. Hope I did not disappoint anyone. I admit that I tried my best, but my best was not that best yet. Will definitely improve on that.
MNC, meeting friends from other uni whom I never meet for 6 months, there were some excitements and some guilts ( for not able to remember their names). There were sorrows, looking at a LC being disbanded and facing the fact the my own LC getting into MIA. There were joys, gossiping with my house mates every night.
MyLDS closing ceremony enlighten me. The moment when juniors went onto the stage and share their feelings and thoughts throughout the 6 days 5 nights. I never know that what we did really left an impact to them. I never know that a 6 days conference can change people's mindset and inspire people.
Reviewing my expectation on the first day of MyLDS, I wrote, to be motivated and inspired. Yes, I have achieved it on the very last day. I am inspired by the juniors. Watching them enjoying participants, being motivated and have a faith on @ that can give them a different experience, I am so proud. They were hugging me and saying thank you to me, in fact, I should thanks them. Not forgetting my team mates. It has been a great time together. We work hard, we play hard.
I never thought that I can be a change agent. My intention of joining AIESEC and staying in AIESEC was solely on self development and improvement, to prepare a better me for a better future. Being in EB and attending MyLDS from a difference role change my thought. I want to contribute more in member development, developing myself, in the mean time, creating more people like me, in fact, more people who are better than me, who are capable AIESECers....... People change my life in AIESEC, I also wana change people's life.....in AIESEC!
Starting with Train the Trainer workshop till LC PM, I have lots of fun staying under one roof with these bunch of people, having different characteristic, different background, different dreams, different taste in choosing lover, but sharing the same vision-----254 254 254.....
TtT, I learnt more than I expected. Honest speaking, I was not so passionate to become a trainer because I do not have the confident and skills. However the workshop thought me that a trainer was not born, but is to trained. So basically everyone can be a trainer.
Pre camp, was the first time I was given a session to conduct. Hope I did not disappoint anyone. I admit that I tried my best, but my best was not that best yet. Will definitely improve on that.
MNC, meeting friends from other uni whom I never meet for 6 months, there were some excitements and some guilts ( for not able to remember their names). There were sorrows, looking at a LC being disbanded and facing the fact the my own LC getting into MIA. There were joys, gossiping with my house mates every night.
MyLDS closing ceremony enlighten me. The moment when juniors went onto the stage and share their feelings and thoughts throughout the 6 days 5 nights. I never know that what we did really left an impact to them. I never know that a 6 days conference can change people's mindset and inspire people.
Reviewing my expectation on the first day of MyLDS, I wrote, to be motivated and inspired. Yes, I have achieved it on the very last day. I am inspired by the juniors. Watching them enjoying participants, being motivated and have a faith on @ that can give them a different experience, I am so proud. They were hugging me and saying thank you to me, in fact, I should thanks them. Not forgetting my team mates. It has been a great time together. We work hard, we play hard.
I never thought that I can be a change agent. My intention of joining AIESEC and staying in AIESEC was solely on self development and improvement, to prepare a better me for a better future. Being in EB and attending MyLDS from a difference role change my thought. I want to contribute more in member development, developing myself, in the mean time, creating more people like me, in fact, more people who are better than me, who are capable AIESECers....... People change my life in AIESEC, I also wana change people's life.....in AIESEC!
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